Learnin’ and Burnin’

I’ve been working at NMGI for about a year and some change now. Staying very busy with all sorts of exciting work, such as fighting viruses, installing new systems, and protecting data from disastrous hard drives. Okay, maybe that is only exciting for someone who enjoys working on computers. I have over this last year accomplished a lot in regards to my pursuit of knowledge. I’ve been earning certifications and passing tests as quick as I could get the information down. However, as of late I seem to be inside a bit of a lull. I haven’t taken a test in 2 months. I could say I’m just taking my time preparing for the next, but that wouldn’t be completely honest. I keep meaning to sit down with my study materials, but just can never get focused.

The test in question is CompTIA’s Server+ exam. This test proves to the world that I know how to install and troubleshoot servers. I really don’t have much experience with working on servers at this point and so the test is a little scary. I’m learning all new information to try and pass this one. I know that if I actually sit down and go over the material I could pick it up quickly. I’ve always been able to memorize and retain information super fast.

Back when I still performed in the theatre on a regular basis, I became a good backup choice because of my ability to learn long scripts in a short time. It started with a run of the Marx Brothers’ Animal Crackers. I came in as a replacement to an actor that had dropped out and was told that it was a big part and I would only have two weeks to learn it. I agreed and got to the first rehearsal and found out I was Chico Marx. I pulled it off and that remains one of my favorite shows I have been in yet.
Right after that show I auditioned for Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Nile. I was only cast as the captain, a cameo appearance with 3 lines at the beginning of Act II. However, Dustin had been cast as Simon who was a major supporting character present in almost every scene. As I recall, Dustin’s girlfriend thought that the show took too much time and told him not to do it anymore. So he dropped out two weeks before curtain. Well guess who got promoted? If you guessed Tim from Accounts Receivable on the 5th floor you’d be wrong. It was me. I burned through the script and nailed that performance almost word for word.
I followed that show up with The Hobbit. I played Gandalf the Grey, I was a bad-ass. I took a break for about a year trying to make it in the commercial sector. I got talked into doing Esther, written and directed by Craig Williams, a local junior high school principal. Came back a few shows after that and starred as Inspector Jacque Clouseau in the stage version of The Pink Panther Strikes Back. I told the cast it would be my last show with the FCT, Family Children’s Theatre. But I lied, I came back and auditioned for a musical based on the music of John Phillips Sousa. Think Mamma Mia! meets a grade school marching band. I don’t even remember the name of the musical. I auditioned as a favor not expecting to get in because of my lack of musical talent. Unfortunately there was a shortage of people at the audition and EVERYONE got in. I was struggling with time constraints and did the one thing I swore I would never do. I dropped out. I quit the show… 2 weeks to curtain. I’ve never set foot in the theatre since. Luckily for the cast, there was a new guy that was turning heads in the community for being able to pick up and learn lines quickly. He took my place and I hear he did excellent. Ironic, isn’t it?

Regardless of my credits at the FCT, I use my powers of memorization all the time. It helps out alot when studying for all these tests. For instance, the Server+ study guide has 312 questions in it, but the actual test will only have around 100. The questions that appear on my test are randomly selected as the test is generated. So I have to learn all of it. I wouldn’t dare only study some parts and try to wing it. The way my luck goes I would get a test full of everything I didn’t learn.

My goal for this week is to read through the whole study guide twice by Sunday evening. That’s only 624 questions in 5 days. Easy enough goal right? I’ll leave you all with the very first question in the guide. See if you can answer it without Google. Now, should I start studying or play video games with my friends? Decisions, decisions, decisions….

The performance of a RAID 5 dual processor database server is degrading over time. Symptoms include excessive disk access, high memory utilization, and slow responses to database searches.
Which action should be taken to reduce the server’s bottleneck?
A.] Add more RAM.
B.] Implement RAID 1.
C.] Upgrade the CPUs.
D.] Add additional CPUs.
E.] Increase the swap file size.

Until next time, keep your nose to the grindstone…
--“The Erik” Sanburn

Zombie-Mania!

What is it about the dead rising up from their graves and roaming the earth that gets me all giddy?

Like tweens to vampires, nerds and nerd-folk are flocking to any and all things zombie. Pop culture is rife with zombies and similar undead, and as a self proclaimed junkie of geek culture, I eat this stuff up.

The new film Zombieland, starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, and Emma Stone, opened this weekend and swept to the number one spot at the box office. Despite being gruesome horrific creatures that spread disease and destroy life, people love zombies.

Next month the sequel to the Award-winning video game “Left 4 Dead” hits  the shelves. This game features four player cooperation to survive a zombie outbreak. Working together as a team you have to reach checkpoint after checkpoint until finally you can make contact with someone who can provide an emergency rescue. Players in the original game made their way through cities, farms, airports, and hospitals to try and catch a break from massive hordes of the undead. In this new sequel, players will experience the game from the perspective of four new characters set in the bayou and New Orleans.

We have even seen safety plans implemented at major universities for flesh-eating, apparently life impaired individuals. The University of Florida's response plans for a zombie apocalypse are no longer available for public consumption though, as some felt the joke was inappropriate.

These are great examples of ways zombies have mindlessly shambled into our hearts, but why do we accept them so? Obviously we don’t agree with their methods or their goals. If we would meet a zombie we would surely slay it without hesitation. But do these munchers of brains represent a bigger picture? In practically every incarnation we see the heroes fighting against the hordes, rebelling against the massing zombies. When society is becoming drone-like and with the disease spreading more and more become assimilated into the mass. Except for the brave few that avoid society. The ones that won’t conform and join the mindless masses.

Think of the zombiesque facets of society... mindless service jobs, the mindless homogeneity of youth culture, mindless conversations on cell phones such that we can have a crowd of people standing talking, but not to each other. Translation for the metaphorically inept: we *ARE* zombies and we don't even know it. Zombie movies even dating back to Romero’s original Night of the Living Dead have been metaphors for problems in the world. So next time you find yourself in the mindless lockstep of society, think twice and hold on to your brains.

Perhaps this is also why zombies work so well for horror movies, they are not some foreign, alien monster, they are us. Your neighbors, your friends, your family, all becoming a flesh eating monster. The idea of turning on your loved ones may be scarier than the graphic mutilations depicted on the screen.

Regardless of whether the zombies represent society, or are just there for some good ol’ fashioned fun, they are here to stay. If you are like me and enjoy Z-Culture, check out some of the following books that are a must for zombie fans.

Until next time, Hail to the king, baby…
-- “The Erik” Sanburn

The Unwatchable Movie Challenge: Reel 1

A New Challenger Appears!

Movie: Teeth
Tagline: Every Rose Has Its Thorns
Director: Mitchell Lichtenstein
Starring:Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Hale Appleman
Released: 2007
Rated R for disturbing sequences involving sexuality and violence, language and some drug use
Runtime: 94 min
Genre: Comedy | Horror
Writer: Mitchell Lichtenstein

 Length of Movie I Watched:
Every last bit of it.

Verdict: Watchable, not enjoyable, but watchable.

 

Kyle issued this challenge earlier this week. He’s been waiting for a good opportunity to force this onto somebody. It was a killer first round to the Unwatchable movie challenge. I am not exactly excited to see penises (penisi?) in a movie, but to see graphic depictions of penis mutilation is something I hope to avoid in the future.

This movie’s concept was outlandish to begin with. Vagina dentata. (Only Google that if you aren’t eating or at work.) I was pleased to see the Comedy tag on IMDB, i went into this thinking it was a serious horror film. As for scares, there are none. Not really any thrills either, apart from how thrilling the credits seem after 90 minutes of this. Female nudity is very minimal with only one quick scene of toplessness, but as for male frontal nudity, there is plenty. Well maybe 5 or 6 scenes with penises. The pacing in the first act seems very slow as well, coupled with the fact this isn’t a “scary” movie it might not be one to watch while trying to stay awake.

This was a bad movie. I do not want to watch this again, I do not want to watch it with a hen. I do not want to watch it in the night, I will wish it away with all my might.

I can’t even imagine what the next movie will be…

Until next time,
-- “The Erik” Sanburn