Erik, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more: Part 4

PART IV

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I awake suddenly to dogs barking. Perhaps this nightmare is over. It's past noon. I am still in it. My mother has come home for her lunch hour. I am not hungry. Still so tired. I let the sleep pull me in.

I awake again. Darkness has set in outside. I am still tired. My body heavy and sluggish. Sleep won't come for me, not now. I lay awake staring up into darkness as the occasional passing car causes a small glimpse of light across the ceiling. Time passes, I have no control over the moment.

I finally pull myself up. I pull up my chair to my desk. I double check my resume. Everything checks out. As I begin signing up for and browsing job postings in the local area I still feel gloom lurking. No way for me to see or know where I will be in a year, a month, or even a day. My life is a blank slate again.

All night long I continue to hunt for anything and everything that would accept an online application. I began a carpet bomb of job posting sites. Sending my resume to anyone and everyone that had even a glimmer of a chance of calling me in. I continued sending in applications until the search results only brought back postings I already applied for.

Then I returned to the comfortable and safe surroundings of the couch. Sleep had returned to claim me once again. I let it take me. Hoping that all would be well by morning.

Morning came. 

My brain urged me to get up and seek out a fix for my predicament. I could not move, my appendages so heavy. All I could do was to return to sleep. I stayed there most of the day. It was all I could do. No desire to get up and face the world. I was feeling worthless and acting the part.

That evening I received a text. Molly was coming to town. This brought a sliver of joy to me. More than I had had in the last 36 hours. I went to meet up with her at our usual spot in Hutchinson. The IHOP. I was glad to see her, we had known each other for so long, yet never had gotten as close as we had over the month since Allison's wedding. I knew she could help bring me out of my funk, but at the same time I felt ashamed to have to admit my failure to her or anyone else.

We had a long talk. We always had long talks. I liked how we could just sit and talk for hours about whatever we felt like saying. I explained that my life had been thrown upside down and how I didn't completely know where I was heading. I knew where I figured I would end up though. Wichita seemed like the most logical and obvious destination. We concluded our evening.

I ventured back home and made another pass over the job posting sites. No responses from anywhere had come in. I had a few more days until I would really start to freak out. I wrote off the lack of response due to the Thanksgiving holiday that was upon us. I once again returned to my new favorite vacation spot, sleep.

I awoke again. Sleep was still uneasy and restless, but I still craved more. I rolled over and as I shut my eyes I notice a blinking on my phone. I had a voicemail.

To Be Continued...