Erik, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more: Part 1

What a crazy adventure that I have been set upon. An epic journey across miles of vast deserts to find a fabled city. And upon finding this city I will be rewarded with riches the likes of which I have never seen. The question is, am I prepared?

The week started as any week over the last year has started. But upon this fateful Monday morning a thick an ominous fog loomed over the city of Hutchinson. As I performed my morning rituals, slapped myself awake and stepped out to face the world, I realized this was no average fog. I had not seen a fog so thick in ages. My little orange car pulled out onto the road and chugged along as I noticed the warning light telling me I was out of gas illuminate on the dashboard. I sighed. I have a bad habit of pushing my car to the limit on gas mileage… which usually ends in me pushing my car.
This morning however the light was freshly lit, meaning I had up to 30 miles to go before I would be walking. So I ignored the warning and pressed on through the treacherous fog. Visibility was low. I could see maybe ten feet in front of me. Traffic was crawling and thus I was too. I watched the seconds ticking by as my twelve minute drive turned into fifteen, and then into twenty. 7:45, the Monday morning meeting had begun, without me in attendance.
I was always warned that if you were going to be late, don’t be late to the Monday meeting. The CEO of the company sits at the front of the room and can see everyone and watches as the employees file in. He glances at the clock noting as each person enters with coffee or soda in hand. This particular morning I can only imagine a list of names and a bolded “?” scribbled next to mine.
Where am I? I am clutching the steering wheel tighter and gnashing my teeth at the people who are arriving to their places of work ten minutes in advance. They slow their speeds and drive leisurely, to stall the inevitable Monday morning. I am now five minutes late to a meeting and I do not share their leisure. I am frantic. I am now stressed before I even start my day and I arrive 7 minutes late to my Monday. I park my car and hurriedly jump from the vehicle and run to the door. Hands flying, dumping out pockets, searching for the keycard that magically unlocks the door. I feel a cold breeze send shivers throughout my body. An empty feeling swells in my stomach. I forgot my keycard. Access Denied.
I press the button which rings the phone system like a doorbell. However, I know that it is futile as every single employee is sitting in a board room where the phone doesn’t ring. I wait, cold and alone, knowing that I have to find a way in. Thirty more seconds go by. I can’t sit outside the whole time. I walk around the building and beginning tapping on windows as I go by, hoping someone will hear me outside and come rescue me.
My supervisor opens the door and lets me in the building. I enter the room, collect the papers sitting by the door and find a seat. All eyes in the room watching me as I avoid their stares. The meeting continues as normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, business continues as though nothing has happened. The meeting ends and all the employees shuffle off to their respective corners of the building. I sit myself down to catch up on emails from over the weekend.
”Erik can I see you in my office?” My supervisor asks, but it isn’t a question. I can’t politely decline this and carry on. I breathe a heavy breath and push the rolling office chair away from my desk. I steadily make my way into the office, feeling that my morning is going to get much worse.

To Be Continued…

Nothing Endures But Change

Change.

Changes, they are inevitable. Yet we as humans tend to never expect change. We get into these routines, we plan, we dwell. We form these grooves in our life and we never want to leave these safe zones. The universe is vast and ever-changing, yet sometimes in life all we want to do is fight change.

“It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.”

--Marilyn Ferguson

We are all growing whether physically, mentally, or spiritually. I have always been a strong believer in the theory that everything is a learning experience. Each and every event that transpires in our life has important information encoded into it. I have had a lot of things happen in my life, a good portion of those can be perceived as negative events. As much as negative events weigh us down as we try to progress on to other stages in our lives, we must fight that weight. Life is a series of steps, with each step we have taken there is a piece of vital knowledge to carry with us. However, when that step provides a life lesson where one must learn through struggle, we all too often carry the burden of all the extra emotional baggage onto our next phase. If we don’t take the time to shed some of our extra weight and relieve ourselves of all the extra negativity we carry within ourselves, we will become bogged down and not be able to progress and transcend through life.

“So Mr. Smarty-pants, how exactly does one shed this 'negative baggage' then, huh?” You may be asking this very question. Sadly, I cannot answer this for you. I can only show you the door. Mainly because everyone will be different, every situation unique unto itself, thus I cannot give you a cookie cutter solution to sadness. How does one deal with sadness, deal with change? How do you deal?

“No sir, how do YOU deal!?” How do I deal? How does, “The Erik” deal? Does “The Erik” have sadness? I am often known to all as the fun-loving goofy comedian that goes through life with an ear to ear grin and a joke for every situation.

“Heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. The Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But, doctor...I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains."

--Rorschach, from “Watchmen”

I also have been a firm believer in the theory that the essence of comedy is simply a parody of tragedy. The ability to mock and laugh at the downtrodden and less fortunate. As grim as that sounds, think back to the last comedian you watched, or think about the next one you do watch. Their jokes will tell stories of break-ups, death, violence, and yet no matter how truly horrible the events in the story we will laugh. I am not saying that I wouldn’t laugh or we shouldn't laugh, merely that comedy is a result of tragedy. My life is a series of tragedies within the greatest comedy of all-time, life. If you have ever heard my story of my senior prom night, you will have laughed. It is a hilarious tale of an unfortunate young boy who on the night of his prom falls in a pile of cow poo. While the idea is silly and the full version is quite humorous, it is really a horrible event. Growing up, I didn’t have the perfect family life, but who does. If you have ever heard any story about when I was growing up, you most likely have laughed. However, the underlying story elements are quite serious. Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence are no laughing matter... yet somehow we make them out to be. A man gets on a stage and tells you his darkest secrets and how horrible life has been to him and you mock him and laugh at him. Yet, the instigator, the one spouting the most gut-wrenching vile insults is the man himself. We call him the comedian.

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.”

--Mel Brooks

So yes, I tend to deal with life by mocking it. When yet another tragedy strikes me, I create a joke. A casual quip that sums up my struggle and will make others smile. Listen to a comedian, and you will generally hear a very sad clown crying out to the world.

Change. We all are changing. Changing into something different, we grow, we evolve, and we create. We all deal with change in many ways, some better than others, some simply choose not to deal with change and those are the most tragic. To all who managed to take the time to fully read this through, I pose a simple question. “How do you deal?”

Whether you respond publicly or even take a moment to ponder it to yourselves, it is a question worth thinking about.

Keep looking to the skies, true believers!

-- "The Erik" Sanburn