Redondo Beach Fun Factory!

Lyndsay and I had to kill some time while the guest house we are currently staying in was getting shown to future tenants. So we ventured on down to the Redondo Pier and went to the Fun Factory.

It’s this arcade down by the beach. They have a tilt-a-whirl in the middle of it. A wall of skee-ball lanes. Zillions of those crappy gambling/aim the token machines. And randomly throughout are some awesome arcade cabinets.

Lyndsay cashed in $10 and we set to work to take over the place. We started off with a little Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker.

We dropped about a buck in the machine before we danced so hard it broke. Right as we finished the second boss. I was player one for the record. Then we moved right along to an old favorite of mine.  The TMNT Arcade game.

A lot of times people would give up after so long. But we had a crap ton of quarters and determination. We played as all four turtles at some point in the game. Each one had technical difficulties of a different kind.
Leonardo’s joystick didn’t respond correctly. He could move Up, Down and Right, but no Left. This meant that if you walked too far to the right side of the screen you were stuck and couldn’t go back. So as Leo, I spent a lot of time either getting punched by off-screen baddies to the right, or hanging out on the left and letting Lyndsay do the dirty work.
Michelangelo's joystick did every direction except Up. I could sometimes go Up on a Diagonal Left, but not always. So as Mikey, I stayed at the bottom half of the screen trying to keep everything under control.
Donatello had the most responsive joystick. Go figure Donny would be the best off technically.
Raphael also had a fairly responsive joystick according to Lyndsay.

Lyndsay started off as Donny, but we learned that the joysticks weren’t the only glitch. Every quarter in the first slot gave both Leo and Mikey two lives, and every quarter in the second slot gave Donatello and Raphael two lives. This worked out so that for every quarter you could play as two turtles. We played for most of the game where I would switch between Leo and Mikey, and Lyndsay would handle Raph and Donny. This became a problem when, due to the old blurred screen, you would lose track of your turtle. Lyndsay would think Donny died when it was Leo and so she would activate Raph. Then when Leo respawned we would have three turtles running about. You really show your skills when you micro-manage an arcade cabinet. By the end of the game we had switched to just using Don and Raph, so that each quarter gave us both a pair of lives. I’m not sure exactly how much we spent, but we had $2.75 left when this screen came up.

Not exactly a history making end to a video game, but it instills one with a sense of pride to know we wasted over $5 in quarters to earn this screen.

To use up the last few quarters we made our way to another old favorite of mine. The Simpsons Arcade. We tried out all four characters on this one too before we ran out of change. Marge was a little sticky on the joystick. Caused me to lose a bunch. Homer worked great, which is good, because that’s my personal favorite and the best character to be in this game. Bart seemed to be a little iffy on the joystick when Lyndsay was playing, and Lisa while fine with the joystick, her jump button didn’t work. That caused a few issues. We got to the 8th level before letting the timer run out but I was pleased to see a screen pop up alerting me that my time as Homer earned me the #1 score on the machine. I entered my initials and took this shot for bragging rights.

All in all, it was a really good night. Some great gaming. If I make it back I might pop a couple quarters into the Episode 1: Racer Arcade, that’s the one with Anakin’s pod that you sit in. Let me see if I can find a picture online of it….

There we go. Fun Factory, you get a C+ in my book. You got really high scores for having the great cabinets, but you lost points for not having any pinball machines. Also the machines you did have had major problems. If you’d hire someone to restore those or just sell me the machine, you could go down in history as the greatest ever.

Until next time true believers,

“The Erik”

What are you doing with your life!?

Well, where do I even begin…
(psst… try the beginning.)
Oh, good idea, me.

So life never ceases to amaze me. Never letting me rest too long, always keeping me on my toes. I wrote on here awhile back about how my life got twisted, turned upside down. And I told you all about how I became a technician near Bel Air. Torrance to be exact.

I haven’t talked much about my adventures in California. Of which there have been many. Not as much as I would have liked, but I wasn’t established here very well. I packed up and moved so quickly that it put me behind on my bills and forced to borrow from friends. Friends should never be treated as banks, and I hate borrowing from them, but desperate times causes us all to bend our own personal rules.

10 months I have been out here in Los Angeles. It has flown by so fast. From the first few months trying to get settled, the next few months trying to balance work and play. Then moving down to Torrance with Lyndsay to be closer to my office, and now even more new adventures, but we’ll get to those soon enough.

From the first couple of weeks out here and getting my rental car rammed on the way to work, I realized this was going to be a completely different ball game from mild Kansas. And boy was it. The accident with the rental was drawn out for a few months. A crazy senior from Yemen was the one who ran the light and smashed into the car. A month after the accident he tried to sue me for injuries. Luckily, because the evidence that he ran the light was overwhelming he decided to withdraw his suit.

Kyle and I played car tetris with most of my worldly belongings loaded up his parents’ denali and played “Convoy” across the country. We bought walkie talkies so we could talk to each other even though we were in separate cars. The “10-4 good buddy” jokes only lasted about 5 hours into the trip, but they repeated at hours 13 and 21. We also discovered that our separate FM transmitters for our mp3 players had a range large enough so that we could both listen to the same music. Basically we turned our road trip into raid night on ventrilo. “More DOTS! Many gas stations, left side!”

The car lasted until around February. When I fell prey to Interstate 405. The 405 has been dubbed the absolute worst highway in the whole Unites States for traffic. I was mildly handling the 60-90 minute commute to work from the apartment. In fairness, California residents did warn me that it would be a horrible drive. I was a naive Kansas boy who thought 30 miles meant 30 minutes. Which it does in Kansas. But alas, during the routine stop and go, I go’d went i should have stopped and rear ended the car in front of me. Really did a number on my car. It was drivable, but it was ugly. Then on top of that, to save money back in Kansas, I had set my insurance deductible to a ridiculous $2000. The initial estimate was set at $2600 for the structural damage. The hood was bent in on itself and couldn’t be opened. While I saved up for it, I rode the bus to work to save on gas and to give my poor car a break. The bus ride changed my commute time from 60-90 minutes, to 2 to 2.5 hours. I was not enjoying life very much. With the commute to work taking a round trip total of 5-6 hours out of my day, starting with catchign the bus at 4:30AM and getting home around 7PM, I had enough time to eat and sleep before starting the cycle over.

But I lived with Kyle and all my new friends, Heather and Arazi, TJ, and the illusive Turner. And while they were not roommates proper Laura and James were there all the time. This was my new family. But our schedules did not play nice. Kyle for instance, slept in until noon… 9AM! Sorry Kyle, you were totally up by 9. Some days. When you had something to do. So Kyle’s average sleeping schedule had him still in bed at least 5 hours after I left the apartment. I would estimate his average bedtime was at least midnight, probably closer to 1AM. Out of the 24 hour day, I was away with work for around 15 of them. Leaving me with 9 hours inside of the apartment for leisure activity and sleep. 6 of those hours were during my friends’ prime time, 7PM-1AM. So from those hours as a group we would hang out, play video games like Rock Band or maybe even board games, watch movies, just generally being an awesome little group of friends. We were a community. But by the time I got home, I wanted to go to bed. I rarely did at first. Thinking, “I’ll sleep tomorrow!” and I would partake in the evenings activities, trying to make it through the day on 3-4 hours of sleep.

Eventually the need for sleep won out, I would come home, sometimes trying to sneak into the apartment as to not let anyone notice my presence and go straight to bed. I would remain there asleep until they came looking for me. Wondering why I would not play in all their reindeer games. Weekends would come and I just wanted to lie in bed the entire time.

My work ethic faltered, my social life faltered, and my friends began to feel I was being distant. I began to feel my routine was becoming a rut. Then I actually started feeling the need to become distant. I am pretty sure this caused some ruptures in some of my new friendships, which I hope one day they can be repaired.

But it came down to a choice, Work or Play?

What could I do? What would any of us do? Seriously, what would you choose?

Feel free to leave some comments, I’ll be continuing my tales and catching you all up on my many adventures. Until next time, true believers…

“The Erik” Sanburn
Sleepless Wonder

Asian Demons and the Snow Globes they Love.

I came across this awhile back. It was a great laugh. Lyndsay was playing one of her many Iphone games, this one a particular favorite. Robot Unicorn Attack. I know it’s been around for quite sometime and I knew I recognized the music that was blasting out of the phone. Did a little research, (thanks Google!) and tracked down Erasure. I have a soft spot for Erasure. Can’t go wrong with a little homo-rock. That’s not an offensive term Erasure is a big proponent in the LGBT community. Of which I am not a member, but I fully support them in their cause for equality.

Breezing past the comment sure to whip up a political frenzy amid the comments… I have provided the video below. It cracks me up. I also provided a link to the Facebook version of Robot Unicorn Attack. Feel free to beat my score. I’m only moderately decent at this game.

Robot Unicorn Attack : Facebook App

Until Next Time True Believers,

The Erik

Project Wolfman: Or How I learned to Stop Shaving and Love the Beard.

Day 93: Preparing to head back to Kansas for the first time since Febraury. I’m looking forward to reuniting with friends and family. As I begin to look more and more like Harry from “Harry and the Hendersons”, I just hope the family will recognize me.

It appears the beard has slowed its growth. The hair is slow and steady. Comparing this to the last picture I can see the hair now meets the bottom of my neck. Now it will branch out to fill the shoulder space. It will be interesting to see what will happen in the next 90 days.

More updates as the beard thickens…

Project Wolfman: Or I How I Learned to Stop Shaving and Love the Beard

Day 49: Today was my birthday. The beard continues to grow. With each day it looks more and more like an upside down afro.  While browsing the internet I discovered how much I am starting to resemble Kurt Russell from 1982’s “The Thing.”

My hair growth is not as noticeable at this juncture due to the rapid facial hair expansion across my jaw. More updates as the beard thickens…

Project Wolfman: Or I How I Learned to Stop Shaving and Love the Beard

Sometimes in a man’s life he has to make some tough decisions. And then sometimes he make make some really questionable decisions. One such decision is my acceptance of TJ’s challenge to go a whole year without shaving or cutting my hair. I thought to myself, “Why not?” And then TJ upped the ante a little, to make me an offer I couldn’t refuse. TJ and Heather added some brutal stakes into this little challenge. If I maintain uninterrupted hair growth for a whole year, I will be rewarded with a 12 pack of Pepsi every week for 6 months. That’s approximately 288 cans of Pepsi! How could I resist!? There is a downside obviously, should I forfeit and give myself a much needed trim before the year is up, then I will be buying Heather and TJ a 12-pack a week for six months.

So here we are after the first month. April 1st, 2011 is zero day. We’ll see how crazy my hair gets this coming year. The things I do for Pepsi and/or money. One of these days I’m going to get myself into trouble.  Now if you’ll excuse me I have some hair to grow.

 

Until next time true-believers!

“The Erik” Sanburn

I Came, I saw, I F*cking Ate It: KFC Double Down

I decided that I’m going to try and start several “series” on my blog. Like this one called “I came, I saw, I F*cking Ate It.” This combines my strange need to blog and my strange eating habits. I mean if you’re going to be overweight, might as well enjoy it, right?

So to kick off this series, I went for a fast food item that I originally thought was a joke. The KFC Double Down.  I have provided for you KFC’s sales pitch.

“The new KFC Double Down sandwich is real! This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!”

That’s right, a cheese and bacon sandwich that uses fried chicken instead of buns. All smothered in a thousand island dressing. This is the American dream right here. I don’t know why we haven’t thought of this before!? Why are we still using bread for buns when we can use meat product!? Are we not men, do we not have needs? When you prick us, do we not excrete fatty solution that’s similar to mayonnaise? If you experience that last little bit, you may need to see a doctor.

Picked up the Double Down on my home from work the other day. With a side and a drink it ran me $6.99+Tax. I wasn’t driving, which was a good idea, because this thing was messy and greasy. I won’t lie to you, I enjoyed the taste. The textures played nice together. It literally is just a chicken and bacon sandwich without buns. While I think anyone who eats this should feel ashamed, and I can’t believe KFC actually put this on the menu, but I know deep down that America has dreamed of this. It’s a heavy sitter though. All that meat and cheese put a block in my belly, but I enjoyed it’s crazy wild ride while it lasted. I would only reccomend this for novelty purposes. It was decent, but I couldn’t imagine eating this on a regular basis.

I’m going to give this one 4 Cupcakes and a fat kid.

Another Satisfied Customer!

Give Me Your Money and I'll Do Your Job!

My new ad on Craigslist. I need some extra cash, so if anybody needs anything done or has so money to waste, throw it my way and I'll take requests. Anything for a dollar! I accept paypal as well. Send me a request and how much your bid for the task is and I will do it! Want me to upload a video on youtube of me falling down some stairs? I'll do it for your money! Click the button below to send me some cash!

craigslist: Active Posting -

I live in NoHo and work in Torrance and I need some extra cash. I am trained and certified to fix your computer. I have experience renovating homes and handyman duties. I can draw and paint and act as well. I am willing to do anything for a price! (Within legal reason.) No job is too big or hard, let me save you from having to do household chores. I'll clean your room, mow your lawn, clean your gutters. Electronics are my specialty, laptop on the fritz? No Problem. I'll even do your homework!

I just moved to California and I need some extra cash to pay off some damage that was done to my car. Please help a guy out, I am very willing and eager to earn your money!

Thanks,
Erik

The Unwatchable Movie Challenge: Reel 3

Welcome back to the Unwatchable Movie Challenge after 3 months of emptiness. The move from Kansas to California really took a beating on me. (As well as my car…) But we came back in the third round with a real contender. A movie so bad they didn’t release it for 26 years!

Movie: Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
Tagline: Lost Horror Film of the Seventies.
Director: George Barry
Starring: Demene Hall, William Russ, Julie Ritter, Linda Bond, Patrick Spence-Thomas.
Filmed: 1977
Released: 2003 
This film has no rating.
Runtime: 77 min
Genre: Horror
Writer: George Barry

Length of Movie I Watched:
There was a group of about 5 of us that sat through this whole thing.

Verdict: There was a reason this thing took over 20 years to get released. As far as I’m concerned this thing probably should have stayed buried.

Death Bed: The Bed that Eats. Really? Where does that idea get fun? The writer/director George Barry supposedly came up with this in a dream, and tried to make the movie resemble that. The pacing is really off because of the attempt to make this surreal. But believe me, the pacing is by far not the worst aspect of this film. This movie is jumbled, poorly thought out and the exposition to how and why the bed eats is lackadaisical. So if you can muscle through the structure of the film and really get down to the core, a demonic bed that dissolves people in a frothy brew between the sheets, then you just run into more problems. The acting is obviously going to be sub-par, you wouldn’t want someone coming in and showing up the bed with “Acting Skills.” The filmography is rough and the lighting is poor. Sound design is half-assed and doesn’t always make sense. There really isn’t anything good to say about this movie.

The funny thing about this is the fact it took Mr. Barry 5 years to finish filming this. FIVE FREAKING YEARS! He started in 1972 and didn’t get it finished until 1977. He shopped it around for awhile but surprisingly no one wanted to distribute a crappy film about a bed that eats. Weird, huh? He finally gave up in the 80’s, and then right before the DVD release in 2003 his daughter started getting the word out again. He actually had forgotten he made the movie for some time. If the movie is so bad that it’s creator who wasted years of his life on this project could manage to force the idea out of his head, it might not be a good movie. What I wanna know is if the shooting schedule was really lazy or if he kept going back to redo scenes and improve the movie? I mean the idea that this release may be the 3rd or 4th revision and THAT was the very best he could do, that’s scary. That is scarier than anything actually in the film.

Patton Oswalt, who is a comedic genius, has a rather long bit on Death Bed from one of his albums. That’s where Kyle and I first heard about this film. In fact, they probably owe a lot of DVD sales to Patton’s stand up act.

There you have it. Reel 3 of the Unwatchable Movie Challenge. Kyle’s second pick was much worse than Teeth, but those mutilated penises will forever haunt me. Now it’s time for me to choose another movie. I’m going to try and aim away from the Horror genre, although Netflix did just release Dead Snow on Instant Watch. However I might try and dig deep for some really bad obscure comedy from the 80s or something.

I will leave you all with clips from Death Bed. Watch at your own risk.

--“The Erik” Sanburn

Erik, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more: Part 5

PART V

------------------------------------------

The reception was terrible here at home and the phone had never even rang on my end. I got up and wondered around until I found a sweet spot for signal. Phoned into the message system and retrieved something odd.

It was a response to a resume I had emailed in not 8 hours prior to that. The quick turnaround actually made me figure it was a dead end. I called them back anyway. Got their voicemail and left a message. I didn't figure I would hear from them anytime soon. However, I figured wrong.

I received another return phone call a few hours later. They seemed interested.

They were a relatively new company, but were based out of Los Angeles. I had only sent in the application as a longshot. The lady I was speaking to inquired about my location to see if I was looking to relocate or if I already had. I told her how I was willing to relocate and was still living in Kansas at the time. She asked if I could do a phone interview later that day. I agreed. She set it up for 5:30 Central time. I told her that time worked perfect and ended the call.

The time wasn't exactly "perfect" as I did have a conflict. I was supposed to be preparing to go on the air for my weekly radio talk show that went live at 6:00PM. I informed my co-hosts that I may be late for that evenings show as I had a job interview half an hour before the show.

I was excited for the opportunity and the chance to interview with the company, however my hopes were not very high. I didn't know what to expect, and I wasn't sure I could impress any potential employers anyway.

Around 5:00PM I prepared my things for the interview. Then I drove into town. I didn't want the cell reception to cost me a job, so I drive into the city limits to a K-Mart parking lot. I had my 5 bars of cell reception and I was ready.

The phone rang. Caller ID informs me that the company is calling for the interview. I nervously exhale. I answer the call. I am introduced to the Project Lead and the Senior Engineer. They give me a run down of the position and we discuss my experience and my qualifications. Then they inform me that they would like to ask me a few technical questions. I wasn't really prepared for them to call my abilities into question. It only makes sense to verify that I know what I claim to know, but I had never gone through that in an interview before.

I agreed to the line of questioning. They ran me through scenarios of user error, wrong keystrokes, and system settings. I answered the questions at about 98% efficiency. They expressed that they were impressed with me and would try to get back to me by the end of the week after they gave it some thought. I thanked them for the opportunity and ended the call.

I had a confident feeling after the interview. I had a text message from my mother waiting on me. My family was meeting for dinner at Taco Hut and asked me to drop by and get something to eat after the interview. I drove over to Taco Hut, which was only about a mile from K-Mart. I am parking my car not five minutes after ending my interview. I start to get out of the car and the cell phone rings again. It's the same company calling back again. I sit back down and shut my car door again.

"Hello?" I answered.

The lady who set up my interview called back to ask me how I thought the interview went. I told her I thought it went really well. She agrees and says she heard good things about me from the two guys who interviewed me. There is a slight awkward pause as no one says anything for about 10 seconds. 

She chimes in again, "Well, I wanted to call and let you know that we've decided to offer you the position."

I did not know how to react. She asked me if I needed to think about it.

"Yeah, this is a big move, I should probably think this one over."

Yet as the words exited my mouth I thought to myself that this opportunity was too good to be true and that if I hesitate like I do with so many things in my life, if I over analyze this, I may miss out on something amazing.

"Yes! I accept! I want the job." 

A mere 10 seconds of thought and my future was changed so drastically. I was embarking on an incredible journey. The next week was hectic as I was running around trying to secure all the details of my move. 2 weeks in L.A. and then 2 weeks in Kansas and then I was back in L.A. to start my new life. And what a life it has been...

Earthquakes are God's cell phone vibrating...

I like to stay topical in my blogs. That's why I'm currently posting a five part story that took place last year some time about some stuff that no one cares about. So I keep hearing about these earthquakes all over the place. They were all the buzz after Haiti got one. Well Los Angeles isn't about to be topped by some little island, we got our own earthquake this morning! So I thought I would provide some rudimentary knowledge about earthquakes for everyone since these quake things are going around nowadays.

EARTHQUAKE SAFETY TIPS

Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a disaster can mean the difference between life and death. Here are some tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:

• Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to the plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and saying, "I told you so.
• To minimize loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.
• Experiencing an earthquake is terrifying, but a majority of people caught in one do survive. During the tremors, try to resist the temptation to have sex with pets or houseplants.
• Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of time.
• Look out your window often. If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, step either to the right or the left.
• Do you have a treasured childhood toy? Perhaps a stuffed animal, such as a teddy bear? Well, let's see Mr. Bear help you now.
• For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a majority of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not come from the tremors themselves. Instead, it was from the raging, out-of-control fires that consumed most of the city.
• A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep and work in doorways.
• Be sure to mail your house insurance payments a full five business days before a major earthquake strikes.
• In the event of a quake, get under something heavy, such as a desk, a table or your uncle.
• If you are caught in a major earthquake in Southern California and are part of the entertainment industry, take a moment or two to reflect on how grossly you've wasted your life.

So there are some good tips for earthquakes. I had never felt a "quake", as the cool kids call it, before. I wasn't sure if that was what it was when I woke just before 4 o'clock this morning. Kinda felt like i was sleeping on a vibrating phone. All in all, I'm glad nothing bad happened.

Until next time Donutheads,

"The Erik" Sanburn

Erik, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more: Part 4

PART IV

----------------------------

I awake suddenly to dogs barking. Perhaps this nightmare is over. It's past noon. I am still in it. My mother has come home for her lunch hour. I am not hungry. Still so tired. I let the sleep pull me in.

I awake again. Darkness has set in outside. I am still tired. My body heavy and sluggish. Sleep won't come for me, not now. I lay awake staring up into darkness as the occasional passing car causes a small glimpse of light across the ceiling. Time passes, I have no control over the moment.

I finally pull myself up. I pull up my chair to my desk. I double check my resume. Everything checks out. As I begin signing up for and browsing job postings in the local area I still feel gloom lurking. No way for me to see or know where I will be in a year, a month, or even a day. My life is a blank slate again.

All night long I continue to hunt for anything and everything that would accept an online application. I began a carpet bomb of job posting sites. Sending my resume to anyone and everyone that had even a glimmer of a chance of calling me in. I continued sending in applications until the search results only brought back postings I already applied for.

Then I returned to the comfortable and safe surroundings of the couch. Sleep had returned to claim me once again. I let it take me. Hoping that all would be well by morning.

Morning came. 

My brain urged me to get up and seek out a fix for my predicament. I could not move, my appendages so heavy. All I could do was to return to sleep. I stayed there most of the day. It was all I could do. No desire to get up and face the world. I was feeling worthless and acting the part.

That evening I received a text. Molly was coming to town. This brought a sliver of joy to me. More than I had had in the last 36 hours. I went to meet up with her at our usual spot in Hutchinson. The IHOP. I was glad to see her, we had known each other for so long, yet never had gotten as close as we had over the month since Allison's wedding. I knew she could help bring me out of my funk, but at the same time I felt ashamed to have to admit my failure to her or anyone else.

We had a long talk. We always had long talks. I liked how we could just sit and talk for hours about whatever we felt like saying. I explained that my life had been thrown upside down and how I didn't completely know where I was heading. I knew where I figured I would end up though. Wichita seemed like the most logical and obvious destination. We concluded our evening.

I ventured back home and made another pass over the job posting sites. No responses from anywhere had come in. I had a few more days until I would really start to freak out. I wrote off the lack of response due to the Thanksgiving holiday that was upon us. I once again returned to my new favorite vacation spot, sleep.

I awoke again. Sleep was still uneasy and restless, but I still craved more. I rolled over and as I shut my eyes I notice a blinking on my phone. I had a voicemail.

To Be Continued...

Erik, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more: Part 3

PART III

---------------------------------

I arrive at home. Still in shock at what is actually transpiring. I am in no hurry to return to the office. In some form of denial, I think the longer it takes me to go back, the less the events are actually happening. I can't return anytime soon though, I have several gigs of data on my work issued usb drive. I plug it in and begin transferring all my data off of the drive. I find my missing keycard that aided the cause.
I go pour me a stiff drink, Pepsi, on the rocks. I go sit down in front of my computer. Staring blankly at the screen as the data transfers. As each byte of data transfers I realize more and more how much I can not afford to be unemployed. Debt up to my eyeballs and it's only going to get bigger as my meager paycheck comes streaming in after the holidays. I hope that the job interview I had the week before pays off. It would mean moving to Wichita most likely, but that wouldn't be so bad. I could start over, a new life. I've been wanting something new and drastic for awhile, perhaps this is my chance.
I mean Wichita is a great city. I enjoy hanging out there, I have a friends there, one in particular who I would greatly enjoy spending a lot more time with. My actor friend is there as well and we could move in together. It would get me back into a more creative environment. My spirits brighten slightly as I think of possibilities.
I browse the web a bit and find the site for Kansas Unemployment Benefits. I am an unlikely candidate since I was fired and not laid off, but might as well cover my bases. I also go through and update my resume with an end date on my last employer. Send off a couple of applications online and then decide to go and head back to the office.
I drive back in. I come in through the back and my supervisor is in a meeting. I go ahead and begin cleaning up and packing up my belongings. I had such a nice cubicle. I pack up my trinkets and my swag I've obtained over the last year and a half. Picking up my tools and looking over at unfinished projects sitting on my workbench. Whoever gets stuck with those projects is going to have a heck of a time completing them. Not because of any sabotage on my part, but because I have been the only one who reassembled laptops in the last 2 years.
My supervisor exits his office and gestures for me. We march through the building and I take a seat in the board room. The lady with the paperwork comes in and explains the process to me. I sign the documents stating that I won't sue for anything and then head back to my cubicle. I continue the process of packing up what is mine and returning what was theirs. This goes on for another hour or so. I get the last of everything loaded into my car. I inform my supervisor and head for the door. The scheduler stops me.

This is a woman who has been working on my downfall for awhile. office politics can turn some into bitter human beings, and she had been turned long ago. She offered me condolences and words of empathy. I took nothing from the hollow words. I was becoming quite bitter over the whole incident.

I get into my car once more and I drive away. My car full of debris and a collection of paperwork and guides. I drive home once again. I feel empty, exhausted. Not sure where to go. What I will do? I am falling. I collapse onto my couch. Sleep engulfs me. Restless, uneasy sleep.

To Be Continued...

Erik, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more: Part 2

I stepped into the office. It was covered in football memorabilia. I always thought it odd when I met a computer tech who enjoyed sports. It makes sense, lots of people enjoy sports. However, myself being a more stereotypical nerd, I don’t understand nor care about sports affiliations.

"Go ahead and close the door behind you." My supervisor says as he sits behind his desk. That's never a good sign. A closed door is an unhappy door. A closed door no matter how innocent makes people assume the worst. I closed the door, heard the latch click into place and took a seat in front of the desk.

"Alright, why were late this morning?" He asked. His voice sounding slightly strained. Others had mentioned he didn't handle confrontation well, and we both knew where this was going.

"I left the house and the visibility was down to practically nothing in that fog. I traveled at the safest speed in the fog and still nearly ran into people," I explained.

"Right, well I'm afraid I have no choice," the supervisor began.

"Whoa! Hold on, there was no possible way I could have anticipated fog. Can you even remember the last time we had a thick fog cover the entire city like this?"

"Regardless, you should have been prepared to leave on time. You had been warned in the past. I have no choice but to terminate you."

The words hung thick in the air. Words I had hoped to prevent, words that heavy cannot be recalled easily.

"You do have a choice though, there's always choices. I haven't been late even a second in over 40 days." I pleaded.

"I have to set a precedent. When I say something I have to follow through with it. You can pack up your stuff and turn in your key card." he said to me. I'm not sure if he was telling me or convincing himself that was the case.

"I don't have my key card with me, that's why I couldn't get in the building this morning." I reiterated.

"Well then let's see if maybe you can leave to go get your stuff and then come back to finish paperwork and things," he suggested.

We left the office and traveled up to the front of the building. We poked our heads into the the office of the lady who would be drawing up the papers for my termination. She was on the phone at the time. She raised her index finger to show that she wouldn't be much longer. She knew what was going on before I had been informed. I wondered how many others already knew what was transpiring.

"Yeah... alright... Yes. I gotta let you go. I'll call you back, I have an employee out here, Erik. Yeah he's not working out so we have to let him go. I gotta get some papers drawn up. okay, talk to you later," she whispered loudly into the phone.

Gossip. I hate gossip. Especially when it's about me. I don't understand why people like talking about other people. It was a problem I ran into a lot at this company. I had been targeted for termination awhile back because I filed a complaint against one of the "powers that be" for telling other employees about disciplinary actions taken against me.

I thought that it would solve a lot of problems by reporting something that everyone in the office knew was taking place. Stand up and fight the good fight. Well, from my personal experience, those that stand up for what they believe in become martyrs for a cause that may or may not have been worthwhile. I realize this is a horribly pessimistic thought, but being fired puts one in that mood.

"Erik needs to go get his key card and his external drive from his home. Is that okay if he runs to get that before signing the paperwork?" my supervisor asked.

"That will be fine. Just come back when you get that and we'll get everything sorted out," the lady in the office responded.

"Alright," I agreed.

I walked back through the building. I continued on through the garage and out the back door. Got in my car and drove away. Part of me wanted to keep driving forever. If I never stopped driving I would never have to face my failure. I slowed down at a stop sign and let my heavy head drop down onto the steering wheel. That's when I noticed the glowing orange light on the dashboard reminding me that I still have to get gas. Exactly what I need, to spend money.

I crank up the volume on the radio as I drive to the gas station.

Upon arriving I get out use the pay at the pump service and begin pumping gallons of overpriced fuel into my car. I stand there waiting for the pump to click off as the cold wind bites at my face and arms. I drive off towards home, wondering if I will have the ability to stop driving when I reach the destination. A coldness seeps into me. Filling me. Dark days loom on my horizon.

To Be Continued...